for whom ever read's this

for those whom decided to read my blog 

beening who i am i rezort to alcohol every time i feel depressed or lonely ( but i'm going to face it witch it all the time). it's not the awser for anything you can only hope someone is there to help you back up when you fall me i'm half cut(drunk) wrighting this i feel like i have lost every thing i've been engaed been in reationship's but there is more to life then just that. those who judge a book from ther cover are no beter then the book them self's you can go thought your hole live's going oh he is cute or fu*k she is ugly. but know this they could be the best thing that will hapen to you. me i go for what's on the inside because that what counts to me sherly because you can be a beutful person but have a fu*ked personlaty. you can spend you'er hole life looking for the one who is right for you but in all realty you could of all ready passed them over because of how they look or how they dress when it come's to love every one need's to make a sacrifice not every one when they met will have the same gear's so to speake it's taken me along time to relize that you never find the right person that you find each other. if you look for them odd's are you find the worng one when the one you are looking for is right there on your shoulder all along stoping you from doing something dumb or from hurting your self last year i went thought a really rought brake up and yeah i wanted to kill my self but one person stoped me. and she was the best thing that happed to me but as it turned out she did not feel the same way so i'm back to square one but in the end i still have people who love me i have been rejected more time's then i can count on my hand's and feet but it never stopped me from looking because i know she is out there some where i just don't know where or if she is tucked under a friend somewhere i have seven atempeds to kill my self i pertty much dieing of being alone i've tryed to change but i can't because last time i did i lost most of my close friend's because i was all mosted marryed to the worng person for me and it cost me alot but in the end i worked out a hole lot worse then i was i was blined by the fact that some one felt the same as i did about them andi could not see pasted that but when it ended witch it did hard i was in a very bad place i could not see the light at the end of the hall but i am a faimly man that's all i want and all i need but i don't know if this will help or not but i hope you see a point to this all i am really trying to say is don't let you'er self end up siting in a dark room wondering what the fu*k happend to my life and where did it all go because it's the worst thing you could possably do get out there and have as much fun as you can keep in mide i'm there for any one who need's it at any time i will reply as soon as i'm awake or as soon as i get it and i understand if you can not talk to the other gender because hey i'm the same in alot of way's it's not about what you say it's about wether or not you have the gut's to say any thing at all like take tonight of an exzample i knowisted the chick from across the bar stareing at me and i did not get up and say hello some time's that's all you need to say  

sencily your's codey john mckay